5, 4, 3, 2, 1… With 10 grapes in my mouth, I mumble an incomprehensible « Happy new year ! » to my friend who most certainly looks as dumb as I do. We hug with tears of laughter streaming down our face and grape juice out of our mouth. This is how I started 2013. In Barcelona, with my mouth full of fruits (spanish custom) and one of my oldest and best friends. At that time last year I was living in London, I had a brilliant future ahead of me, I was full of hopes, innocence, confidence and joy.
Man, some things have changed.
When I look back, I don’t know how I should feel about this year, about who I was and who I am now. In between times, I’ve been through a depression, I’ve moved three times in a few months, I’ve dropped out from uni, I’ve lost great friends and met even greater ones from all over the world, I’ve discovered true pleasure (hell yeah) and true pain. I gained some hindsight on life that I wasn’t expecting. I guess quite unexpectedly, I’ve finally grown up. Which sucks. I didn’t want to and that’s exactly why it’s been so sudden and painful. 20 years old is not an age to leave your childhood. You’re supposed to have done that at like 15, like losing your virginity or go to a club for the first time. But I’ve never done anything like everyone else so a teenage angst in my twenties should have been predictable.
Now that I’ve become something closer to an adult, I can take deep and thoughtful resolutions that I will obviously keep because I am responsible and willing.
Resolutions for 2014 :
Quit smoking, dumb ass.
Stop judging yourself (this contradicts the above resolution but one more contradiction doesn’t make much difference)
Save 10% of your salary every month.
Practice yoga on a regular basis.
Start figuring out what you want to do with your life. Apart from yoga teacher in the Caribbean or writer in San Francisco.
There are a few more only my shrink will have the honour to listen to because they are way too personal and tortuous (and boring) to be displayed on the internet. Not like I care but potential dates and new friends will probably read this and I don’t want to freak them out. If it’s not already done.
Happy New Year,
ps : Soon, an article about how to keep your resolutions.